"I want my mommy"......................................
I smell the smell of hospital. I hear beeping it was coming from a machine, it annoyed me. I saw my mom she asked me if i was okay? I try to talk but nothing came out and I tryed one more time and i said "My throat hurts".
I waited in the waiting room for about 30 minutes then they called me in. Then they asked me what flavor sent i wanted, I picked bubble gum. So then they told me what was going to happen I got Scarder and scarder every minute. And then they sent me back to the waiting room.
As through my head i kept on thinking what is going to happen to me i hope that nothing goes wrong. I thought not to think of it but it was hard because it smelled like hospitail. But i sarted to think about food because they did not let me eat until afer the surgry. So that kept things of my mind for a while.
They finally called me in Right when they said "davina Navarro" It felt like someone had just socked me in the stomach. We all went to this orange room and the doctor was there. She told us what was going to happen. and then they put me in this room where there was a hostpital bed. They told me to lay down they a lady asked me if i wanted hot or normal blankets and i said hot. And they put this mask on me and then i screamed " i want my mommy"........................
I woke up and i saw my mom and my tias faces. I could fell that they were holding my hand. I try to speak but nothing came out i ryed one more time and i said my throat hurts.
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2 comments:
Very good. Very descriptive, yet you capitalize at the wrong time and the spelling is terrible. I was able to read it though because fortunately you started words with the right letter and I identified them.
is this rough draft one or two? dont use the word then so much. this is a very good start.
i smell the smell of hospital. I hear beeping it was coming from a machine, it annoyed me. I saw my mom she asked me if i was okay? I try to talk but nothing came out and I tryed one more time and i said "My throat hurts".
try it like this:
entering the hospital the smell in the halls and the beeping of medical devices bothered me immediatly."Davina, are you ok" mom asked.
"My throat hurts," i complained.
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